Some pages from the book:

STUTTER IN 20 SECONDS:

Good for those who do not have time to read more.

THE SAFEST WAY TO GET RID OF YOUR STUTTERING:

Beheading. 100% cure is promised.

SELF-HEALING

95% of all the stuttering begins between the ages

of 3-7 years. 80 % self -heal.

OTHER MEANS

Extensive therapy work for many years.

COMPROMISE

Half-hearted therapy of yourself by speaking with

various speech tempos, voluntary stuttering or loose

and easy to express his message in a new way.

TIRED OF ACTIVE THERAPY

Membership of the Association recommended.

TIRED OF ALL THE “MESS“

More bang in the doors.

PRE-RETIREMENT

Strains requests early to get there.

 

TIPS AND THOUGHTS

Stutter neatly

Stutter neatly is something I created myself. It was

created in my brain like so many other words. Stig

Lindh´s word workshop has followed me through

life. I simply like playing with words. I even take

them into my mouth and taste them to feel whether

they are "right.” The concept of stuttering neatly

puts me in a few other things as well. You're treated

the way you are. If you are regarded as uncomfortable

you get problems of various kinds and

regardless of what you have to say.

 

If for any reason you feel that it is comfortable

with a faltering voice, the piece of advice is to

stammer "neatly.” The issue is perhaps new. Are

there really people who cannot cope with my stuttering?

I'm inclined to answer yes to this. I think

that we as stutterers perceive ourselves as weak

and non-stuttering as strong. We take it for granted

that they must be able to listen to our speech

stammering as long as we think we need for im

plementation. For some reason they cannot.

 

Soft repetitions of words or syllables can be OK,

but noisy and cramped hooking where ticks are so

severe that your face is contorted in spastic disfigurement

can be daunting.

 

Good eye contact is a must. You see him and he

sees you. You observe him, but how does he react?

Is it positive or negative? Learn from what you see.

Our basic needs.

 

As human beings we have fundamental basic needs

such as food, drink and sex, which may surprise.

Today it has become increasingly available as people

have started using just the word sex instead of

other less "nice" words that also sound badly.

 

Arne Jarric, a professor of history has thought

about the issue and read all the literature that he

has come across. He concluded that there was

something more important that was missing “The

need to be needed.” In the past you were needed

automatically because you worked on farms and

had to survive there. Today we work half as much

as 100 years ago because the studies and other

circumstances are reducing the number of years

significantly. Upper class women often had no

work. They devoted themselves to charity, which

was a way for them to be needed.

 

Food, drink and sex are necessary for human survival.

To feel good is also to be needed.

 

Security is necessary

I remember the book "Love yourself,” a book that

portrays the American conditions. Studies were

done which showed that the success of the "pick"

depended on how safe you were yourself. At that

time I thought everything was possible to change if

the will existed. In my solitude a few years earlier I

had analyzed my situation and decided that I was

safe in my insecurity. It was just going on in the

wool stockings. Now I wanted to have success on

the dance floor. The problem was to be safe when

you really aren´t. Then I took out my acting skills

and played safe. One day I stopped with it without

really understanding why, but it did not work any

longer. It was only when I worked on it all in the

Identity therapy that I got the answer.

 

Don´t we have the right to safety as stutterers? Do we always

have to go at full speed? What happens when we

are not able to correct everything that happens in

the speech organs in the moment of speech? The

questions are many. I imagine that security can

mean different things for different people.

 

Social and economic security is concepts that are

more understandable and concrete.

 

Internal security is probably what I think of first.

What is it? We who never have experienced it do

not know what it is. I myself experienced it for the

first time in Mallorca in the 60s. Suddenly I spoke

freely with an unknown girl. When I think of that

incident, I curse all work units. The work has no

boundaries and the stress that in my case triggers

stuttering can be really unpleasant.

 

Job security is a rare luxury. Having the "back

free" is difficult. Torment and stress may each one

handle after his or her ability. Stress management

can help some. To my knowledge it is a subject

that people do not talk about at work.

 

When it comes to stuttering therapy, two maybe

three conditions are valid. One thing is to leave the

security and try new fields the second one is to

have the support that may be needed and, finally,

an aid to lick your wounds and to get new forces.

 

What I mean when I talk about security is the security

that some children in their youth receive from

their parents. If you don´t have it as an adult it is

difficult to usurp it. But one can always have it as a

goal. If you do not know very much about the subject

you should have guidance from someone

knowledgeable in the field.

 

Security is not something that just comes. Expect to

fight to get it. In addition, you must be purposeful.

 

Get To Know Yourself

Find out who you are and what you want to do

with your life. Does that sound pretentious? That is

exactly what it is. To confront yourself with yourself

you don´t certainly do in a hurry. A crisis may

be the triggering mechanism. Begin by learning to

put into words what is happening.

 

Once you have decided to find out who you are,

you will find shortcomings. But you should know

that you will do as you are with all your faults and

shortcomings. Furthermore, you can always work

on your shortcomings at appropriate times. At first

glance it may be difficult to see what the real assets

are. Take out a pen and paper and list what you are

good at.

 

You will discover that you are good and capable of

more things than you could imagine.

 

Take yourself seriously

Here is an example of thinking about something

when the psyche wants something else. If you are

talking on the phone, you must convince yourself

that you both want and will speak with this person.

The opposite is to wish but not be able to. In this

case it means that you have decided to speak to this

particular person. Once you have dialed the phone

number and are waiting for someone to answer at

the other end you feel uncomfortable about having

to talk to the person in question. Here I think you

should keep talking tough on the principle - have I

put my mind to call it will be because I want to do

it for some reason. I mean that if fear starts to take

over you must take yourself seriously - push away

the doubts with the thinking and be serious and say

that you are here to call and do not want to be in

another place in life, otherwise drop the hook and

go there immediately. My discovery is that one can

call and have emotions when talking on the phone

and believe it or not - it works. The best thing is

obviously to remove the split and become concentrated.

 

One should avoid being a slave to one´s emotions.

Nothing could be further from the truth. If you

have however gained a good life and have trust in

your feelings, it is a great asset. Control your emotions

to do what you really want to do. Concentration

can never be wrong. When you take yourself

seriously in the situation above, you can, over

time, avoid the internal tug of war.

 

Take yourself seriously is to respect yourself.

 

Who owns the problem?

When you strain or feel ashamed the feeling of

wanting to gloss over arises. The cat purrs not always

as a courtesy. A smile that is interpreted as

nothing has happened means that it has not happened,

at least not as much as what really was happening.

 

Now we have come to the conclusion that what has

not happened has become a problem, at least for

those who "happened" to stutter. Has the other

person had the right idea about me, does he think

the right things about me, is grinding in the head?

What is happening now is that the stuttering person

takes on the responsibility over what the other

person will think.

 

This was just one example, but there are certainly a

number of them. The inner dialogue may be wise

to consider whether there really is my problem. To

be generous and share the problem is not a good

solution because then both persons have problems.

 

The moral is: Do not wear problems that are not

yours.

 

Are you looking for knowledge you will find it

In the stuttering literature you write about everything

except the feelings that might be considered

"fuzzy" in the research context.

 

It's also very much about the fact that everything

you need to know is recorded in different contexts.

It´s "only" to take in adequately. Speech therapists

can help you in different contexts.

 

Scientists are good for the riddle's solution, and

more research is requested than they do today.

 

A person who truly embraced what speech therapists

told him I met in a therapy group at “The

South Hospital” in Stockholm - he had realized

that the way he lived his life, it was not surprising

that he stammered. I mean that there is a lot of

knowledge on the subject. The problem is to assimilate

it, take it seriously even though there may

be diffuse. What if it would be so bad that the "riddle

´s solution are countless factors that can each be

of great importance.

 

Maybe there's something for you to consider in this

book in your search for understanding, help or

relief.

 

Do not be a victim or a scapegoat

It is complicated to live and it's easy to fall outside

the usual norms. In the end it's always the group

you are in or want to enter that is the norm. Rules

always exist some of them are invisible, and this

can go wrong properly.

 

When it's something that goes bad there will always

be a good reason and it may be at first, but is

the solution over time there is a vacuum. The most

experienced know that the situation is dangerous

and ultimately unsustainable. No shadow must fall

over me so what´s best is to ignore the problem.

 

You don´t want to be concerned with it and refer to

others. It's not long before there is a scapegoat who

is not just anyone. Usually it is a person who for

some reason finds it difficult to defend himself or

it is a strong character person who wants to be firm

as a God. Once the boss, in its way, endorsed him

as "bully victim" he becomes everyone's game.

 

Mankind has sought his scapegoats since time

immemorial. They become "the solution of the

problem.” There are always the minorities who

suffer.

 

The scapegoat unfortunately serves a useful purpose

in mankind. Much misery is channeled

through him.

 

To Establish Your Borders

Ability to put an end to things is the key to a sense

of dignity and self-esteem. You are somebody, you

have identity but also integrity. Live your life like

everyone else. Go to work and home to the family.

If your life looks in a different way it isn´t wrong

either.

 

How strange it maybe sound it is up to you to decide

over your life, what you do and what you plan

to do. In order to feel as good as possible, the starting

point is that you know how you should manage

your life. Make sure the distance to the person you

are talking to is convenient when you speak to him.

Look at his face, his eyes, what do they say? If you

don´t dare, you can watch his mouth, but it is not

as good.

 

The question is how much the person communicating

with you shall have the pleasure to experience

you. In the actual communication, it is common

to read one another. The question is how

much you dare to show. Where is the limit? And

are you the one who decide upon it? At home it is

perhaps easier to set limits on family members. If

you are tired take a nap. If anyone is too eager to

get your attention you have the ability to say no.

But if this is the case then meet again some other

time later in the week. Do you get tired however

when you are on your work it becomes trickier.

There it is not so easy to walk away. Ideally speaking

you should not get tired at all giving the chance

for the ghost stutterer lurking and want to come

out. In view of your disability it may be wise not to

place assignments requiring a lot of talk during the

"tired" conditions - cancellation may be an option.

 

Consider what is important to you when you set

limits in your speech. What do you need to feel

good. You grow when you dare to be clear. Setting

limits and saying no is to create space for what you

want and need.

 

The responsibility to set boundaries is yours - it is

about learning the surroundings so that they treat

you well. If you're respected you feel calm and

secure.