STUTTER IN 20 SECONDS:
Good for those who do not have time to read more.
THE SAFEST WAY TO GET RID OF YOUR STUTTERING:
Beheading. 100% cure is promised.
SELF-HEALING
95% of all the stuttering begins between the ages
of 3-7 years. 80 % self -heal.
OTHER MEANS
Extensive therapy work for many years.
COMPROMISE
Half-hearted therapy of yourself by speaking with
various speech tempos, voluntary stuttering or loose
and easy to express his message in a new way.
TIRED OF ACTIVE THERAPY
Membership of the Association recommended.
TIRED OF ALL THE “MESS“
More bang in the doors.
PRE-RETIREMENT
Strains requests early to get there.
TIPS AND THOUGHTS
Stutter neatly
Stutter neatly is something I created myself. It was
created in my brain like so many other words. Stig
Lindh´s word workshop has followed me through
life. I simply like playing with words. I even take
them into my mouth and taste them to feel whether
they are "right.” The concept of stuttering neatly
puts me in a few other things as well. You're treated
the way you are. If you are regarded as uncomfortable
you get problems of various kinds and
regardless of what you have to say.
If for any reason you feel that it is comfortable
with a faltering voice, the piece of advice is to
stammer "neatly.” The issue is perhaps new. Are
there really people who cannot cope with my stuttering?
I'm inclined to answer yes to this. I think
that we as stutterers perceive ourselves as weak
and non-stuttering as strong. We take it for granted
that they must be able to listen to our speech
stammering as long as we think we need for im
plementation. For some reason they cannot.
Soft repetitions of words or syllables can be OK,
but noisy and cramped hooking where ticks are so
severe that your face is contorted in spastic disfigurement
can be daunting.
Good eye contact is a must. You see him and he
sees you. You observe him, but how does he react?
Is it positive or negative? Learn from what you see.
Our basic needs.
As human beings we have fundamental basic needs
such as food, drink and sex, which may surprise.
Today it has become increasingly available as people
have started using just the word sex instead of
other less "nice" words that also sound badly.
Arne Jarric, a professor of history has thought
about the issue and read all the literature that he
has come across. He concluded that there was
something more important that was missing “The
need to be needed.” In the past you were needed
automatically because you worked on farms and
had to survive there. Today we work half as much
as 100 years ago because the studies and other
circumstances are reducing the number of years
significantly. Upper class women often had no
work. They devoted themselves to charity, which
was a way for them to be needed.
Food, drink and sex are necessary for human survival.
To feel good is also to be needed.
Security is necessary
I remember the book "Love yourself,” a book that
portrays the American conditions. Studies were
done which showed that the success of the "pick"
depended on how safe you were yourself. At that
time I thought everything was possible to change if
the will existed. In my solitude a few years earlier I
had analyzed my situation and decided that I was
safe in my insecurity. It was just going on in the
wool stockings. Now I wanted to have success on
the dance floor. The problem was to be safe when
you really aren´t. Then I took out my acting skills
and played safe. One day I stopped with it without
really understanding why, but it did not work any
longer. It was only when I worked on it all in the
Identity therapy that I got the answer.
Don´t we have the right to safety as stutterers? Do we always
have to go at full speed? What happens when we
are not able to correct everything that happens in
the speech organs in the moment of speech? The
questions are many. I imagine that security can
mean different things for different people.
Social and economic security is concepts that are
more understandable and concrete.
Internal security is probably what I think of first.
What is it? We who never have experienced it do
not know what it is. I myself experienced it for the
first time in Mallorca in the 60s. Suddenly I spoke
freely with an unknown girl. When I think of that
incident, I curse all work units. The work has no
boundaries and the stress that in my case triggers
stuttering can be really unpleasant.
Job security is a rare luxury. Having the "back
free" is difficult. Torment and stress may each one
handle after his or her ability. Stress management
can help some. To my knowledge it is a subject
that people do not talk about at work.
When it comes to stuttering therapy, two maybe
three conditions are valid. One thing is to leave the
security and try new fields the second one is to
have the support that may be needed and, finally,
an aid to lick your wounds and to get new forces.
What I mean when I talk about security is the security
that some children in their youth receive from
their parents. If you don´t have it as an adult it is
difficult to usurp it. But one can always have it as a
goal. If you do not know very much about the subject
you should have guidance from someone
knowledgeable in the field.
Security is not something that just comes. Expect to
fight to get it. In addition, you must be purposeful.
Get To Know Yourself
Find out who you are and what you want to do
with your life. Does that sound pretentious? That is
exactly what it is. To confront yourself with yourself
you don´t certainly do in a hurry. A crisis may
be the triggering mechanism. Begin by learning to
put into words what is happening.
Once you have decided to find out who you are,
you will find shortcomings. But you should know
that you will do as you are with all your faults and
shortcomings. Furthermore, you can always work
on your shortcomings at appropriate times. At first
glance it may be difficult to see what the real assets
are. Take out a pen and paper and list what you are
good at.
You will discover that you are good and capable of
more things than you could imagine.
Take yourself seriously
Here is an example of thinking about something
when the psyche wants something else. If you are
talking on the phone, you must convince yourself
that you both want and will speak with this person.
The opposite is to wish but not be able to. In this
case it means that you have decided to speak to this
particular person. Once you have dialed the phone
number and are waiting for someone to answer at
the other end you feel uncomfortable about having
to talk to the person in question. Here I think you
should keep talking tough on the principle - have I
put my mind to call it will be because I want to do
it for some reason. I mean that if fear starts to take
over you must take yourself seriously - push away
the doubts with the thinking and be serious and say
that you are here to call and do not want to be in
another place in life, otherwise drop the hook and
go there immediately. My discovery is that one can
call and have emotions when talking on the phone
and believe it or not - it works. The best thing is
obviously to remove the split and become concentrated.
One should avoid being a slave to one´s emotions.
Nothing could be further from the truth. If you
have however gained a good life and have trust in
your feelings, it is a great asset. Control your emotions
to do what you really want to do. Concentration
can never be wrong. When you take yourself
seriously in the situation above, you can, over
time, avoid the internal tug of war.
Take yourself seriously is to respect yourself.
Who owns the problem?
When you strain or feel ashamed the feeling of
wanting to gloss over arises. The cat purrs not always
as a courtesy. A smile that is interpreted as
nothing has happened means that it has not happened,
at least not as much as what really was happening.
Now we have come to the conclusion that what has
not happened has become a problem, at least for
those who "happened" to stutter. Has the other
person had the right idea about me, does he think
the right things about me, is grinding in the head?
What is happening now is that the stuttering person
takes on the responsibility over what the other
person will think.
This was just one example, but there are certainly a
number of them. The inner dialogue may be wise
to consider whether there really is my problem. To
be generous and share the problem is not a good
solution because then both persons have problems.
The moral is: Do not wear problems that are not
yours.
Are you looking for knowledge you will find it
In the stuttering literature you write about everything
except the feelings that might be considered
"fuzzy" in the research context.
It's also very much about the fact that everything
you need to know is recorded in different contexts.
It´s "only" to take in adequately. Speech therapists
can help you in different contexts.
Scientists are good for the riddle's solution, and
more research is requested than they do today.
A person who truly embraced what speech therapists
told him I met in a therapy group at “The
South Hospital” in Stockholm - he had realized
that the way he lived his life, it was not surprising
that he stammered. I mean that there is a lot of
knowledge on the subject. The problem is to assimilate
it, take it seriously even though there may
be diffuse. What if it would be so bad that the "riddle
´s solution are countless factors that can each be
of great importance.
Maybe there's something for you to consider in this
book in your search for understanding, help or
relief.
Do not be a victim or a scapegoat
It is complicated to live and it's easy to fall outside
the usual norms. In the end it's always the group
you are in or want to enter that is the norm. Rules
always exist some of them are invisible, and this
can go wrong properly.
When it's something that goes bad there will always
be a good reason and it may be at first, but is
the solution over time there is a vacuum. The most
experienced know that the situation is dangerous
and ultimately unsustainable. No shadow must fall
over me so what´s best is to ignore the problem.
You don´t want to be concerned with it and refer to
others. It's not long before there is a scapegoat who
is not just anyone. Usually it is a person who for
some reason finds it difficult to defend himself or
it is a strong character person who wants to be firm
as a God. Once the boss, in its way, endorsed him
as "bully victim" he becomes everyone's game.
Mankind has sought his scapegoats since time
immemorial. They become "the solution of the
problem.” There are always the minorities who
suffer.
The scapegoat unfortunately serves a useful purpose
in mankind. Much misery is channeled
through him.
To Establish Your Borders
Ability to put an end to things is the key to a sense
of dignity and self-esteem. You are somebody, you
have identity but also integrity. Live your life like
everyone else. Go to work and home to the family.
If your life looks in a different way it isn´t wrong
either.
How strange it maybe sound it is up to you to decide
over your life, what you do and what you plan
to do. In order to feel as good as possible, the starting
point is that you know how you should manage
your life. Make sure the distance to the person you
are talking to is convenient when you speak to him.
Look at his face, his eyes, what do they say? If you
don´t dare, you can watch his mouth, but it is not
as good.
The question is how much the person communicating
with you shall have the pleasure to experience
you. In the actual communication, it is common
to read one another. The question is how
much you dare to show. Where is the limit? And
are you the one who decide upon it? At home it is
perhaps easier to set limits on family members. If
you are tired take a nap. If anyone is too eager to
get your attention you have the ability to say no.
But if this is the case then meet again some other
time later in the week. Do you get tired however
when you are on your work it becomes trickier.
There it is not so easy to walk away. Ideally speaking
you should not get tired at all giving the chance
for the ghost stutterer lurking and want to come
out. In view of your disability it may be wise not to
place assignments requiring a lot of talk during the
"tired" conditions - cancellation may be an option.
Consider what is important to you when you set
limits in your speech. What do you need to feel
good. You grow when you dare to be clear. Setting
limits and saying no is to create space for what you
want and need.
The responsibility to set boundaries is yours - it is
about learning the surroundings so that they treat
you well. If you're respected you feel calm and
secure.